Sorry its been so long! Someone stole my bank card (THIEVES!), classes and work, PLUS……. I’m something like a celebrity so I’ve just been busy. lol…

But really. To catch you all up on some things.  I miss the old boo.  Like the 2006 boo. The guy I probably never told you about.  Let me tell you how sweet he is.  We used to have a point scale.  If he made me smile, he’d get a point and vice versa.  So, December 2006, we decided that month we were going to have a contest on who would have the most points.  And on the first day of December, I had roses delivered to my school! Do you know how special that was?  And then, he took me to Florida for a week in January.  After that stuff started getting shaky I believe because we were both getting comfortable and I hate catching feelings so I was trying to find a clean swift escape. 

I saw him this past weekend.  I haven’t seen him since September? So, I was excited.  And when I saw him, I realized that I lost him.  Never were we official but we were close. He lives an hour away so when we got to see each other, it was a treat.  And for him to stop by and see me on Friday made my day. 

But when he walked out of the door, I knew it was the last time.  And when that hit me last night, I called him damn near in tears yall! I hate to see him leave.  Not literally but out of my life for good.  He was first a friend and I messed it up! I did because of the need that I wanted fulfilled. 

How can you get something back that you held onto for so long? 

Weezy said it best, How can I get my grip when I lost my main squeeze!? 

I’m lost yall

I know.  To those of you who just absolutely love reading about my love life, I’m sorry.  I’ve just been so caught up.  *Yeah right, with school and work! No love for me.  However, I did go out on Saturday and I think it pays off for me. 

I don’t go out every weekend but when I do, I tend to meet more than one guy! Like, its crazy and its oh so fun.  I met a nice guy on Saturday that has called me everyday since then and is really peaking my interest.  Eventhough today is Valentine’s Day, we won’t be spending it together however, I’ll probably talk to him some time today.  That’ll be nice right?

Now, remember the guy that I said I cared for and I loved?  Yeah well, I knew it wasn’t a two way street.  He said he thinks we should be friends. And I just left it alone. I texted him a day ago and he has yet to respond.  So Miss……………. I was so about to reveal myself! lol. I don’t want to be a burden or a bother, so I deleted that contact from the list!

I’m moving on.  Its time to just leave 2006 (When we met) in the past.  I’m really agreeing with the GREAT IN 08 phrase.  It just feels so good to be me right now.  So with that said, Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers, friends, enemies, everyone!

I love you all. And for inquiring minds, I will not be with a guy tonight.  I’ll be with the most important people in my life, next to family.  My girls.  I love them dearly so we’re just going to sit back and eat crab legs! *I know kinda weird but they are just so darn good! lol

So, I love honest people.  I love people who can tell me the truth and don’t care how I feel about it.  I believe that I am honest with people so I demand that in return.  Cides Money, if you ever read this page again, I just want to say thank you.  Thanks for leaving that harsh (SMILE) comment.  I do need to tell that guy about my feelings.  But should I really when that is not the one who wants me?  Deep right?

No matter how much I care for him, how many times I call, how many times I text, how much interest I show when we’re together, nothing is going to happen until he is ready.  And I honestly don’t think that will be for a while.  So, with that said. Should I sit and wait with my hands in my lap in my apartment?  No. I should move on right?  Because the longer I sit, the more upset I’ll get and then I’ll be the salty one.  And I don’t want it to be like that.

So I’ll just move on.  I’ll just enjoy my love life, if I can call it that for what it is.  I will just keep my options open.  For instance, in my younger days, I went completely based on looks.  Too much worried about what others might think of the new guy’s looks or if he was a ten.  But after sitting here, I’ve realized I’d take a 6 who treats me like a queen rather than a 9 who treats me like crap. 

Let’s not look at looks and get to know someone for who they truly are.  I’m not saying I’m going out to find Mr. Butt Ugly because he’ll treat me right but I’m no Beyonce so why should I demand a Denzel?  See, that’s the problem.

I love the media. Lord knows I do. But they tend to portray Prince Charming as this tall, athlete, six pack PLUS, gorgeous, LEGALLY EMPLOYED man.  When he may not be.  But should he be?  Think about it ladies, and gents.

Would you date a man if he was a drug dealer but treated you like a queen.  I’m not even talking material wise but he completed your soul, your existence?  Would you?  Or would you let your girls tell you what you need when you know its right there? 

Love has no face.  Love has no color.  So how would your friend’s know who he is or what he looks like?  Think on it and I’ll be back later because Honey, I’m not done…

Soooooooooooooooooo I totally forgot to introduce myself to the readers… I am a girl! That’s all you need to know and that’s all you’ll ever know!

Luv Ya!

So, I don’t know why but this past week has been a whirlwind of greatness.  Greatness with men that is.  On Thursday night, me and the girls went to the club.  I haven’t been in a while so it turned out to be a rather fun night.  I met two guys and saw the boo at the same club, different times, and in different corners! Wait, that makes me sound like a roller.  But I’m not.

 On my way to the club, I called the first.  He said he ended up going to the club that I was on my way to.  Eventhough earlier, he told me he wasn’t going there.  But anyhoo. I was standing in line, being ‘cute’.  You know, 30 below with no coat on.  lol. Yeah, that was me.  I met this guy in line.  Gorgeous! I mean, looks something like Dwyane Wade and he is my favorite player (Sidenote: THE HEAT WILL BE BACK NEXT SEASON!)  So I was geeked.  When I got inside, I had sort of forgot about that gorgeous specimen and was just on another cloud from dancing and just having a good time. 

After a couple of hours, one of my girls said, there goes the guy from the line. He’s leaving! So, after a couple of drinks, I had a lot of confidence.  I ran/walked up to him to say goodbye.  He was like, Oh you’re the one from the line right?  And I was very happy he remembered me.  So, he took my number and said, I’ll probably call you tonight. And he did.  He actually came back to the club to pick me up and take me home.  My friends didn’t agree with my choice but he was nice.

He came home and sat around the table with my friends and I.  Very quiet, taking in his surroundings.  I was nervous because he was so quiet.  I mean, not to often have I met a guy WORTH my time in a club.  And this one was a rare find and one I plan to keep for a while.  So, he left after an hour or so.  It was late and my friend had threatened his life if he ever did anything to me! Great friends….. And he has came over twice since then.  He’s good company.  One I can laugh with.  Oh, and he watched The Beyonce Experience with me.  So he’s definitely a keeper! !!)

Now, from an earlier post of mine, do you remember the guy who worked all the time?  Yeah well he surprised me that same night and came over with his friend who talks to my roommate.  I mean, I hadn’t talked to him in a while.  Better yet, I’ve never talked to him.  I initiate all the text message convos and when I call him, he doesn’t answer.  So when he came into my apartment that night, I was shocked.  I mean, dealing with a guy like that I figured he didn’t want to talk to me and I took it as an L. 

So, when I went to my room and he followed, I was even more happy.  I mean, it had been a while since I slept in the bed with a guy.  And I was even more shocked when he laid on me while we were watching Sports Center, when he was constantly rubbing my back.  He was just being ‘the boo’ for one night! My roomie was shocked too because it was so random.  And since that morning when he left, I haven’t talked to him.  Go figure right?  I should have known.

Now, why am I… the Serial Dater turning myself in?  Well because I’ve been caught.  My first is back in the picture.  In the beginning, well, for the past two years, its been just sex.  And in the beginning I think he wanted more than sex but I didn’t.  And now, I want more than sex.  Around August 2007, I made that call and our physical relationship started again and ended just as fast as it began. 

But now, I’m sort of in love.  I enjoy our short but sensible conversations that we’ve had recently.  I enjoy his company just when he’s around.  I love how dedicated he is to his dreams and his drive is so masculine.  I love his sense of humor and he doesn’t judge me at all.  I’m shocked at myself to fill this way about him but I do.  He knows everything about me.  Things that close friends don’t even know.  He’s told me I was the only one he tells his dreams to.  And I’m pretty sure its not game because… he’s already got me. 

I’ll admit, I have strong feelings for this guy.  But I cannot.  I AM the serial dater.  Wait, what is a serial dater?  What do you think?

So, I’ve been feigning yall. I’m not going to lie.  I was talking to my roommate today and realized that its been so long since I had a guy sleep over and just be there with me.  Because he wanted to.  Not because he had to go to court for child support the next day! Yeah, I was dumb for a while.

But when is it going to happen?  When is ‘he’ going to come over and spend the night not expecting anything?  I doubt it’ll happen anytime soon. The guys in my generation, seem to only want ass. 

I’ve tried guys with kids… didn’t work. I’ve tried guys who’ve gotten out of relationships, hood guys, career guys, school guys, all of them. But no one seems to work. So with that said, I promise I’m just going to focus on myself.

It’s like I tell my roomie every night. I’m not going to text him. And I do.  But I promise, I’m good on every guy for a little while. I promise I’m just fine!

So, I was talking to a friend last night about his relationship.  He’s been with her for two years.  He’s a junior in college and she is a freshman.  He knew her before school because they are from the same place. 

He said she was such a good girlfriend back in the day but now that she’s at a black institution where there are more man than some cities, she’s switched up.  She’s able to get what she wants, materialistically speaking, from him while going on to others to get what she wants, any other way.  So basically she’s using him.  He said he often had doubts but he’s just so comfortable that he can’t let go.

But we have to let go.  He’s a good guy and wasting, yes I said it, wasting his time on this GIRL is like, sad.  Why must we stay were we are comfortable?  Why must we try and make things work when we know that they cannot or they will not.  Stay focused yall.  Maintain yourself and let everything come into play after that. 

Get comfortable with yourself and then allow others to come to you.  Don’t go out looking when what you are looking for is temporary. 

I promise I’m going to stop venting one day! lol

So, I know this blog is about relationships and I need to talk about stuff that goes on in relationships, good places to eat, things like that.  Well, first let me vent. 

I’ve been talking to this guy since November 2006.  It’s been off and on but mainly on.  He’s taken me to Florida, he’s come to visit me, he’s talked to my mother, he’s been there for me at the worst points of my life THUS FAR.  He’s just been.  But all of a sudden, things seemed to change. 

In the beginning, he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship.  He wanted a friend.  I can do that.  But what I won’t do is be disrespected.  I stopped talking to all the guys I did have for him.  I respected him enough because I truly cared for him.  However, I didn’t get that in return.

I ended it with my jump-off…who was there before him…. because I wanted to focus on my main joint. lol. SHOUT OUT TO D.C.  And I never asked him questions.  I figured he slept with other girls.  But I never asked. And finally one day I did.  And I ended it after he responded. But I went back.  I went back everytime. 

The last straw was when he was supposed to come visit, he lives an hour away, and he didn’t show up because he said I didn’t answer my phone? Reckless. If you want to see a person, everyone knows today’s technology.  Leave a voicemail. The phone may have not rung.  So words were exchanged and he ended up calling me a dumb ass and that was what I thought to be the end.

Until I got a message.  Until he called damn near in tears talking about baby mama drama.  And I listened. I listened because I was his friend first.  Yet and still I couldn’t even get a phone call on New Year’s like I did last year.  Why?  Because when I asked later about his celebration, I found it to be with another girl.

Like, I don’t have to deal with it.  He came back this last time.  And I wasn’t there.  I’m not going to be available everytime you want me to.  I’m not going to be waiting on you when you’re not ready.  So last night I simply told him to forget that he ever knew me. And left it at that.

No I didn’t cry but I got up and made dinner with my roommate, entertained my girls, and slept the night away knowing, tomorrow can only get better.

Stand up my sisters. Let go of all insecurities.  Just because one man is gone doesn’t mean that its the end.  I know the saying is old but its so true.  Men ARE like buses.  Except only they are the buses found in more populated cities.  They are going to come but not when you want them.  And when you do get one, you’re so appreciative.  And trust and believe, it’ll come back around same place, different time…

So, after hearing over and over again the phrase Great in 08, I’ve realized that it will be just that.  I’m a twenty something year old black woman.  Currently in college and working a part/full time job five days out of the week.  I mean, my schedule is filled with school and work alone.  But I do want a nice guy from time to time to stay up with me on those nights where I want to talk.

I’ve never had a serious relationship nor do I think I’m ready.  However, I do want a man, notice I said MAN, to fulfill for me what I cannot do for myself.  And that’s not much, mind you. But I do want to be held at night, I do want a dinner date from time to time. I do want those text messages that read Good Morning when I wake up. I do want that voice in my ear before I close my eyes after my long days. 

And I do get that but….. from FOUR different men.  Now mind you, I said I was twenty something. And no I am not sleeping with any of them, nor have I ever.  It just seems that since I cannot find the right one, I’m going to play the field until I find him.  Or let me take a religious perspective, until he finds me.  Each guy is different. 

The Teacher
He’s older than me by three years.  He lives an hour away.  He truly is a sweetheart.  I get the text messages from him from time to time.  However, they don’t come as often as I want them.  We talk occasionally.  The only thing… we met on Facebook. That’ll never work out right?  Did I mention he is a college graduate and currently in grad school? Oh and he teaches sixth grade students. Yeah, I know, a keeper right?

The Greek
We met at a party two years ago.  He was a cool guy and we didn’t see each other again until like four months later.  He is apart of a greek organization.  He has since left college, came back, transfered, left, and next semester “plans” to start back.  He has a daughter. He’s now living four states away.  He texts often as of late since he’ll be here on Friday. He’s trying to get in good so I’ll give it up.  NO WAY! He tried the last time and didn’t succeed. I’m just not physically attracted to him… But I love the temporary attention I get.

The Full Time Worker
Met him at a club.  His friend wanted my roommate.  They ended up exchanging numbers and he and his “crew” came to the apartment after the club closed.  We all sat around talking…blowing in the wind. lol. He’s a cool guy.  The guy I was interested in was given my number and we’ve texted while he’s at work almost everyday this week.  The only problem with him?  He works everyday from 7 pm until 7 am.  WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GO TO DINNER?  He’s off on Friday so I told him I would cook for him.  He’s the one I really want. But we shall see in the forth coming blogs.

The Distant Lover
Well, since I’ve been in school, I haven’t been able to go home as often as I would like due to my work schedule.  However, there are some people that I have stayed in contact with back home. And one is my school girl crush.  I’ve liked him since the summer before my freshman year of high school.  We worked together at a summer camp every summer until I graduated.  I truly do care for this guy, his mother, and his sister.  Our moms talk. My mom loves him and his mom loves me.  The only problem is, he loves women! All types of women.  And when I say all types, I mean just that.  His current girlfriend is some white chick.  And I’ll be honest, it hurts just a little. Especially when I’m able to type in an address and go to a social website and up pops a picture of the two of them?  When I’m the one he calls at night talking about our future married, or his excitement to see me, or how he misses me so… All talk.  But I still have love for him.

These four potentials are what make me smile during the day.  And some at night occasionally.  But when will the text messaging and phone calls turn into a physical meeting of simply sitting down and talking.  Sharing stories, watching a game, enjoying one’s company.

I’m truly ready for a nice friend and if I could wrap them all up in one, I’d have a hell of a combination. But I can’t.  So do I just sit back and wait patiently, or do I go out for the one I want and let the rest go? 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm